Maria Reidelbach, owner of the Homegrown Mini-Golf at Kelder's Farm in Kerhonkson, has an update about Gnome Chomsky, the gigantic Northeast elitist liberal gnome that lost the Guinness World Record for tallest gnome to
Johna Goldberg, or
something like that.
There have been more ideas from community hippies since I last told you about this socialist menace.
So without further ado, here they are:
Since material doesn't matter to Guinness, convert Chomsky into an inflatable gnome, proposed Tom Herling.
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A gigantic farm tool adds height and that "American Gothic" vibe, and was suggested by both Mona Lombardi and Deborah Artman, Deborah pointing out that the object on the end could be up-sized as necessary.
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Another gnome riding on Chomsky's shoulders was Wayne Kelder's idea.
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Platform shoes would give Chomsky the lift he needs, and were suggested by Joe Holdner, Sue Cosgrove and Chris Butler.
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High-heels give Chomsky a chance to express his inner drag queen. A tip o' the chapeau to Terry Anya Hayes.
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"I think Chomsky's stature could be elevated by his obtaining a higher degree. There are many online programs, so he could matriculate while staying on the farm. A PhD from MIT, where another Chomsky once walked the halls, would be fitting," writes Pam Kray.
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Ted Lawrence had the most radical idea: "Cut off his head and add a spring--he'll be the largest gnome and largest bobble-head!"
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Said Reidelbach, "We ended our press release by speculating that one day, Chomsky may find a sweetheart, one that's quite a bit bigger than he. And, while we don't have any plans for that at the moment, you never gnow with gnomes. Anyway, we still think we have the world's cutest garden gnome."
